The thing about living in San Francisco is that hipsterness is pretty much ubiquitous with living here. So much so that, after a while, you stop even noticing the carnival gear, oversized glasses, and rat tails. And while some of it can be annoying (I don’t care how delicious your hand-poured coffee is, I want to choose what size cup I want and I want you to provide internet because you are a coffee shop), a lot of it is why it’s such a fun place to live, like made-to-order ice cream they literally freeze while you watch, or getting your portrait made into a 19th century tintype, or treating your guy to an old-fashioned straight razor shave. (All of this is making me wonder: Is the main aspiration of hipsters to recreate life in the 1800s?).
But, most of all, I love the hipster babies. Because while suspenders on a grown man tend towards silly, on a baby it is AWESOME. Don’t believe me?
Yes, what you heard was the sound of the entire Internet collectively sighing, “Awwww” as they raced off to buy fake birds for their babies’ shoulders. Or at least the first part.**
I know not everyone agrees with the adorableness of the whole hipster baby thing and some of you may even – gasp! – think skinny jeans on a baby are silly (one of my sisters who will not be named), but I’m going to speak up for babies everywhere (in much the same way I took a stand for Little House on the Prairie chic in the sixth grade) and say, “Mom, Dad, let me have my bow ties and fedoras. You only get to be this cute once and I’m ready to take it to the nth degree, jaunty caps be damned.”
So, let’s all help them out, shall we?
Five Adorable Ways to Hipster Up Your Kiddo:
1. Bennett has a bit of a drool problem that I’ve completely solved with the cutest bibs (or in hipster lingo, “baby scarves”) on the Internet. Michelle sell versions featuring chevron stripes, down-home plaid, houndstooth, and, of course, mustaches. And not only are they totally rock star darling, they’re actually absorbent too, effectively cutting down on the laundry you need to do, which means now you’re helping save the planet simply by dressing your child adorably, and isn’t being a hipster fun?
2. Delicious nephew + mustache pacifier = just as awesome as advertised.
3. We have a lot of princess cups around our house (rather unhipsterishly, my daughter bleeds pink and purple right now) and I’m about ready to replace them all with these mason jar sippy cups. They remove my guilt over plastics and are, well, mason jars. I’m just wondering if I can get them to decal Ariel on the side?
4. What do you get if you combine your hipsters’ favorite photo sharing app (um, Facebook is so over) with the wooden toy movement? This low-tech camera that is too cute for words and makes me yearn for the days before my kiddos knew how to use my cell phone. Which would put them back in the womb, so maybe not.
5. One of the best parts about having a baby (outside of the snuggling) is dressing them however the hell you want. Like putting your newborn son in rockin’ gold moccasins. He may curse the photos when he’s older, but it’ll be worth every second for today’s glory. (PS – This photo is quite possibly the worst birth control ever. It makes me want to go have 45 more babies RIGHT NOW so I can squeeze their chubby, little legs and I still can’t get my current one to sleep through the night so that’s a really bad idea, right?).
What did I miss? Is your baby in skinny jeans? And. pray tell, would it be weird if we went for a unicycle ride this afternoon? (OMG. See?!? Who knew the 1890 was the new 2013?!)
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