This post has been such a long time coming and I must have started it 45 different times, but words can’t fully capture these past few months so I’ve decided to stop trying and just be here with you all now. I know when my heart and mind have settled a bit (and I can figure out my part of the story to tell) I’ll find the right words. Or maybe I won’t. What I’ve learned most over these past couple of months is guarantees are often not within my control, a thought which is terrifying and exhilarating.
What I can promise you is this: I will do my best to be present with you and with my life. I will remember to look up at the sky and the sun and the trees instead of always down at my to do list. I’ll remember to get down to my kids’ level to hear about their day, roll around on the floor, and giggle with them while they still think I’m cool. I’ll commit to lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling for no other reason than to remember what it feels like to have enough time. I promise to not forget how good an ordinary day feels. To revel in the small joys and big hugs that make a life well-loved and well-lived. I will work to practice patience with other people because I don’t know or understand the trials they may be going through. I will make time for the things I love to do because they bring me joy and that is enough. I’ll make the time to really connect with the people I love because, when it comes down to it, they are what matters and where my heart lies.
And when I invariably fail to remember all of this and forget to hold life preciously and instead get caught up in racing against the clock and getting it all done, I’ll give myself a break and, when I remember to, give myself permission to have an iced coffee and try, try again.
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